16 Aug

TO FORGIVE OR NOT

The effects of unforgiveness has many repercussions that people are unaware of. When you discover the affects that unforgiveness has on your lives, you’ll see that choosing the alternative will make you free and it is very important that it happens, for your own sake.  You will not only be happier, but your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health will be positively affected as well.

We all, most definitely, have been hurt by someone at one time or other. Whether it was a parent, a relationship, a business partner, a child or friend, it must have been painful. Since we are all unique, communicate differently, or view things completely opposite of each other, disagreements are inevitable, but it is important to forgive. Yes, sometimes, it can be difficult, but it is necessary and essential.

People react to situations differently because our personalities differ.  What affects one person may not necessarily bother or affect another person.  Some people can address a situation and move one, but some cant let go and get stuck in the hurt or pain. Unforgiveness is a horrible thing to live with and when a person can’t release someone from their wrong doings; it is like a disease that can even affect the heart. People don’t realize that unforgiveness manifests itself in many ways as can be seen below:-

Emotional Health: When an individual dwells on past events, they become controlled by it. They think about it continually, sometimes plot revenge, and in some cases act on it. What they don’t realize is, forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you’re allowing or giving someone permission to do it again; it means that you are choosing to move on and put the situation in the past where it belongs. The person who rustles your emotions controls you. Remember that.

Relationships:  Unforgiveness can also affect our relationships with those close to us. Others can be brought into the conflict and forced to take sides. Instead of just two people fighting, there are now three or more. An extra  wedge occurs between them and new bitterness is added to the issue at hand.  One traumatic relationship turns into two, or more,  and if forgiveness doesn’t take place soon, it could mean a lifetime of distance and unhappiness.

Physical Health: A healthy lifestyle is what many people value, but when they are angry, they seek out ways to escape their situation, and their way of dealing with things is usually self destructive. Some people overeat or don’t eat at all, and some turn to drugs, alcohol, or extra-marital affairs as a way to forget. When something weighs heavy on the mind it also hinders or interrupts a person’s sleep. Without proper rest, their bodies are susceptible to sickness and then before you know there is a physical decline.

Spiritual Health:  God is love personified and for us to have a relationship with God, we are to love one another. But when we allow unforgiveness to fester in us, it is impossible to do that. The bitterness that consumes us hinders our relationship with God, and without obedience it is hard to please Him.Forgiveness - SMDIt is important that you love yourself and obey the statutes of God concerning forgiveness because it is tied to a happy, fruitful and fulfilling lifestyle. When you don’t forgive, it is like having an iron ball and chain tied to your leg – it is difficult for you to move on and your life is consumed by it.  Meanwhile, most likely, the party concerned may not even be thinking about the issue.  They have either forgotten, didn’t know the intensity of your hurt, just don’t care and have moved on.   As I said, our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health depend on it.

If you have any difficulty in forgiving anyone who has hurt you, get in touch and let us work it out.

Laila St. Matthew-Daniel.

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