23 Jul

TRANSFORMING ATTITUDE TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE FEELINGS

 

Negative Feelings If you don’t like something change it; if you cant change it, change the way you think about it. – Mary Engelbreit

It has been estimated that the average person has roughly 60,000 individual thoughts every 24 hours. 95 percent of these thoughts are the same they had the previous day, and 80 percent of these repeated thoughts are of a negative/pessimistic nature. Furthermore, many of these pessimistic thoughts are unconscious and habitual, meaning that people have next-to-no awareness of the impact that these thoughts have over their lives.

What is even more worrisome is that 95 percent of the thoughts that people have form the foundations of the emotions they experience throughout the day. This is significant because our emotions form the foundations of our attitude, and our attitude is what shapes our happiness and success in all areas of life.

Daily we face all forms of negative and positives feelings; and the worries come from our own desires. Human beings are wired to feel positive and happy once their basic needs are met i.e. food, shelter, clothing, security. But, also daily, there are other needs that we try to achieve and this brings on various kinds of thoughts. Some of these thoughts carry negative feelings that may affect our mental state. So what can we do to protect our mental health from these negative feelings?

  1. To eliminate the negative feelings you need to find out the source and its effect on you daily. Knowing will give you clarity and knowing is also the opposite of fear and doubt. You are the only person who can identify the feelings that affects you negatively and those that are positive because YOU experience the effect.
  1. Realize that negative feelings like anger, jealousy and hatred are harmful to us and affect the mental state of our mind. These negative emotions make us lose control over our mind and thereby unable to take focused and reasonable decisions, most times. You need to identify the kind of events that trigger off these emotions and avoid them. Or seek assistance to eliminate the feeling. When you cant change a situation, you must change the way you think about it to eliminate any triggers.
  1. You need to understand the benefits of having positive emotions and attitude. Once you identify how to infuse positive thoughts into your daily routine, you make sure you replace the negative emotions with it and repeat daily. For example if you desire happiness then do the activities and causes which trigger your positive emotions. If you have values like being of help to others, sharing and kindness to people around you will trigger positive emotions in you and it will increase your bonding with people around you and practiced daily, it will reduce the impact of negative feelings on your mental state

Introducing change into your daily life – Change is easy when you know how to go about activating it.

Change is not easy and achieving genuine positive attitude requires transforming the way of your thinking; it requires a continuous internal fight with your negative emotions. “The human spirit and the human flesh are constantly at war!” Suffice to say these changes cant be achieved in one day and there is not one simple method to handle all your identified negative emotions. The change will take time and it will depend, mostly, on your determination to succeed. Changing thought patterns that you have operated in for quite a while will necessitate you inputting additional values in your core values that would enable you to measure the success rate of your behavior change. Do you know what your core values are? Identify and write them down.

For example if you adopt a human value of ‘kindness’ into your core values, then day by day you can improve your attitude by taking a ‘kind’ action in addition to your core value of kindness. When you wake up in the morning you can create a positive motivation for the day by affirming to yourself, “Today I will choose to act on the basis of one of my core values that will trigger a positive emotion.” At the end of the day measure the success of your activity. Ask yourself if you were able to reach out in an act of kindness that touched your core essence or you need to find more ways to make your attitude better in case of a failure.

So:

  1. Find a positive value and outcome of an action that would elicit an attitude of happiness.
  2. Implement that action by aligning your core values with it.
  3. Affirm to yourself each day that you will utilize the day in a positive say.
  4. Measure your progress at the end of each day

Initiating this task is often difficult but maintaining it is relatively easy. We all do many activities on a daily basis, like taking a bath. We don’t require special powers to do that task because we value hygiene. We just need to take the same approach whenever we want to introduce any change in our daily life. If we hold the above practice and align it with our core values than we just need to perform that activity. Understand the benefits of positive emotions and attitudes as mentioned in t and introduce the practice of it in your daily life to make yourself happier.

It takes 21 – 90 days, minimum to form a habit and same time to unlearn a habit. I have found that repeated practice of above method can reduce the impact of negative emotions in daily life. We can’t reset our brain and there is not any switch to trigger positive emotions and happiness but we can train our mind in such a way through above practices which creates new thinking patterns that leads to our goal of achieving genuine happiness and success in all you do. I wish you all the best.

 

Laila St. Matthew-Daniel

 

 

 

References: Jayral Joshi/Wikipedia

 

 

 

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